Monday, March 31, 2014

The Good Ol' Toilet Paper Feeling. Or How being a splinter in hollow tooth is like?

Over the past few years, since this blogging sensation hit our Net savvy generation, I have been mulling over to have a blog of my own. The reason to get a blog was to, well, to get a blog and make my self famous. You see, not much of a talent anywhere else, but with writing you never know. Some people like dumb things so why not let them have it. And if others do hate it, I say I'll profit from marketing - Mouth-to-mouth (just don't take it literally with everyone around, pick and choose!). The reason not to type something for so long was, well, laziness. Not that I didn't had my share of crazy stuff, or that I didn't knew wacky things others did, I was just not ready to haul my ass and get going. Though, today is special. Today I got really inspired, I mean REALLY inspired. Today someone made me feel like a Toilet paper and a splinter in tooth. 

Before getting more into what happened, let's look situation of the items pointed out in the title. Toilet paper, everyone knows how important it is, specially to us Indians it has got both a novelty value and a utility value. With the advent of Western style toilets we had the toilet paper coming in tow. Though we got used to the change in posture, but wiping, ooohhhh Nooo! We still need water and therefore the jets. So toilet paper adorn our toilets but more for novelty purposes. Getting my point, how utterly wasteful the paper must feel. Even if we use it, we do not for the primary purpose, either wipe the toilet seat or for....you get my drift (save the sock, say what!). See, how very confusing for the paper, doesn't know which way to swing, one moment, "Yo! I make your toilet look complete" to "No Maaaan no, this ain't what I am for"! 

Now consider for a moment the hollow space in your tooth which gets filled many a times with some splinter of food, gutkha, supari, chakhna etc. etc. I got a hollow space, and if I am free and at leisure I enjoy such a speck getting stuck in there. I mean, you got all the time which you didn't knew how to spend and voila! here comes the sun. Now pick away all you want with your tongue, play around with a pen (no Pun intended, all is going in the mouth but with splinter only) and see how time flies. You'll have one of the best time of your life. But say, you are busy and something gets stuck in your tooth, you want to be left alone, but this guy just sticks there. He is just an innocent li'l chip trying to cheer you up, but you don't want that. All you want is to get rid of the pest as if you just met the horror from your past with which if people see you, you are done. How the splinter will feel? Dejected, right. All the good things he had heard about you from his 'Karma' Brothers, all just so very ironic. So you see, how the toilet paper and the splinter are rendered uncertain about their position, so very disheartening.

Let's get to the point why I feel for both these items, I was recently put in the similar position. There is this girl I met sometime ago. A note here - please focus how it is mostly girls that riles us up. A nice soul, beautiful, honest, fun, nothing of a show off and so on and so forth. Most of the times we are with this common friend of ours, and in between we met, a couple of times, alone. I am a jolly soul, keep the mirth and laughter going around is my motto. We joke, we banter, we Whatsapp, we phone and, as I said, we laugh. Somewhere down the line the circuitry faced some issues and my PJs went from being bad to worse. Even I was finding it hard to laugh, all that was left was people laughing at me and not at the jokes. This made me reflect, I went into the Zone. I thought about what was going on, and in the heightened state of anxiety I deduced that I liked this chick. Point of dilemma, do I tell her or not? If I tell her I risk losing the company, and if I don't I risk losing the sleep over it. So sorting out priorities, I decided to let her have it; you see sleep is the ring, my precious!

On this fateful day, I got enough sloshed, these things require more courage than facing a mad dog. With mad dog timely treatment may help you, but with girls you want them to bite you and then there's no antidote as well. So, fateful day-got sloshed-and told her I liked her. She is a nonchalant girl, things don't flutter her easily, nor did this thing or so it seemed. Very coolly and calmly she made it clear that let's just forget, forgive and be friends. I am a very women respecting person (Rahul Gandhi's fan, all for women empowerment) so I concurred and said let's be friends. That day I slept, long and peaceful. 

I returned to being my normal self, you know the suave, slightly rough and a bit comic on the edge (people love this in me, I think). We 3 (she, our common friend and me) were having the same camaraderie as before. I was happy to have kept the good company and, double bonanza, kept the sleep as well. The laugh, jokes and me all were back. And so were the calls, the whats app messages. Only thing was these were getting shorter between her and me. I didn't mind it, I thought a little side effect, how does that matter? We'll soon be fine. But then, the response to one-to-one communication suddenly stopped. It was like banging my head against a wall. I tell you these invisible ones are nasty, with visible walls you get blood and you quit, but with these you don't know what to do!

When we 3 are together it is all business as usual. But her and me alone it is the old story of the Toilet paper and the splinter in tooth. Now where does that leave me? I don't know, its unsettling. And why this event really inspired me to finally get this blog going, 'cause I have lost my precious. It is like being Smeagol from LOTR, the ring is now my bane. I keep looking for it, I get hold of it and suddenly its gone. It is Two in the morning, and I am awake, and I hate it. What do I do guys? Any suggestion apart from growing up, I tried this one for like 28 years it doesn't work.